I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
high people should be assigned attendants
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
