thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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