Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
