seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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