When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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