Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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