Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
