You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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