i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
