is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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