I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
