Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
