Having a random hookup so left but love u
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
