Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
