I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
