Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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