i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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