Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
