I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
