You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
