TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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