We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
