that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize