I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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