I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
