am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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