if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize