are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize