I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
