After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
