people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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