Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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