Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
