What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize