if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
