The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
