He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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