I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
