the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
