We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
