Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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