i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's the barista slut.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
