do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
