i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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