that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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