is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
