Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
