I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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