At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
