The maid of honor just puked.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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