Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize