if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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