I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
