Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
