i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
