if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
