i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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