i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize